A Heavy Heart

First I have to say that I am so glad that my mom is here. I can't tell you what a relief it is to have her here. Not to mention that Dawson totally adores her. He wants mamaw to do everything-"mamaw buckle me in", "mamaw get me milk"..... and on and on. He will actually cry if Jeff or I do something for him. I can't say that I am complaining about that. He even wants mamaw to change his diaper-oh, what a bummer! It was been to nice to be able to relax, but I think my mom pushes me relaxing a little too much. For example,we went to Walmart on Monday and she made me drive one of those motorized carts. That was so embarrassing. She told me I had two options: drive the motorized cart or sit the in the car. Grrr. But all and all, it is good that I am able to rest.
Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. I am actually looking forward to going. Just to see if things have changed or what we are going to do now. It has been a week since our triage visit and it will be the first time I have talked with my doctor since then. I kind of hope that she says that Samuel will come soon. I feel better now that I have the steroid shot and am kind of ready to just deal with whatever is going to come. I think the anticipation is just driving me mad. I am constantly wondering...is it today, tomorrow, next week, 5 weeks???? I feel like this lost puppy dog...just not knowing what to do. Today when we were at the store, I was wondering, should I buy Samuel an outfit? Should I do this? Should I do that? So many overwhelming questions. I want to be prepared, but to what degree, I am not even sure. So, I just got consumed with so many unknown questions that I just cried while I walked around the store pondering them. I am sure people just thought I was hormonal....which I am, but is not the reason why I was crying. Blah...too much.