6 months old

On the 24th, Samuel would have been 6 months. I can only wonder what it would have been like. It makes me sad. Today, I am going to go for a drive just to think. I feel like since Samuel's birth and death I haven't had any time by myself to just think. Hopefully this will be a good thing, not a bad thing. I just need some time to process. Hopefully I will run into some pretty things on my journey today. Pray for safety as I drive aimlessly (with my GPS).

A Sad Day for Me, A Joyous Day for Others

Well, today we got a letter in the mail from Donor Alliance. It was a confirmation letter that Samuel's heart valves were used for 2 children. Little Samuel's life helped to save 2 other children. Praise Jesus! I am very happy for those children and their families, just sad that it confirms that Samuel is actually dead. My heart is breaking. After receiving the letter, I went upstairs with Dawson and looked at pictures of Samuel. I was sobbing and Dawson was saying, "it's ok sweetie, do you want to lay down sweetie?". He is really a sweet kid. After I calmed down, I have just been "here"-I am sure we all have had days like that, maybe for different reasons though.

Dancing with Jesus

Oh my sweet Samuel
I know you are dancing with Jesus
but how I miss your smiling face.
If only I could get a glimpse-
just a tiny slice of heaven.
I know you are better,
no more tubes, no more pain, finally freedom.
If only I could've held you a little longer,
but I rest assured knowing I'll see you again.
Oh my sweet Samuel

I want to Praise You, Lord, Every Season of MY soul

Let everything that,

everything that

Everything that

has breath praise the Lord

Praise You in the morning

Praise You in the evening

Praise You when I'm young

and when I'm old

Praise You whem I'm laughing

Praise You when I'm grieving

Praise You every

season of the soul

If we could see

how much You're worth

Your power,Your might,

Your endless love

Then surely we would

never cease to praise

Let everything that,

everything that

Everything that

has breath praise the Lord

Let everything that,

everything that

Everything that

has breath praise the Lord

Praise You in the heavens

Join with the angels

Praising You forever and a day

Praise You on the earth now

Join with creation

Calling all the nations to Your praise

Praise You in the morning

Praise You in the eveningPraise

You when I'm young

and when I'm old

Praise You whem I'm laughing

Praise You when I'm grieving

Praise You every

season of the soul

If we could see

how much You're worth

Your power,Your might,

Your endless love

Then surely they would

never cease to praise

Let everything that,

everything that

Everything that

has breath praise the Lord

Let everything that,

everything that

Everything that

has breath praise the Lord

Back in Good ole Colorado.

Well, we definitely had a wonderful trip in Cincy. I had a surprise b-day party for Jeff-boy was he shocked! I wish everyone could have see his face. There were probably about 60 family and friends. It was so great to see everyone. We keep very busy while in Cincy. We visited with a lot of people. I think everyone should move here. Colorado is so much prettier. Sorry Cincy.

We are still just hanging in there. I feel like our conversations about Samuel are less frequent, but Dawson still mentions Samuel at least once per day. Dawson prays for Samuel every night. If he only understood that Samuel is finally free and doesn't need our prayers. Samuel has had the ultimate prayer request met-meeting Jesus. Not to say that selfishly I want him back. I can still picture him in my head making his little adorable faces and smiling back at me. What a sweet, precious little boy. I miss him so much. It is still just so surreal that I had a baby, but now he is gone. The other day I was filling out paperwork and I had to put down the name of my children. Oh, my heart hurt really bad at that moment.

Ok. Well, that is just a quick update. Please pray for guidance in our lives now. I feel like I just don't know what to do with myself or what direction our family needs to go. Thank you all!