Denver.

What a nice day! Today me, Dawson, and the parents went to Denver. In Denver, we visited the Aquarium and Children's Museum. It was great fun. Dawson really loved the sea turtle and the tiger at the aquarium (yes there was a tiger there ??). He was a crazy man at the children's museum-very stimulating, maybe a little too much. He crashed on the way home. Later we went out to eat at a Chinese buffet-I think the best I have ever been too. The grandparents definitely spoil him. He is always getting ice cream, juice boxes, and toys (at every shopping trip). He tells mammal, "I need that". I will have to do a grandparents detox when they leave. Oh well, it is only a week and so worth it!! That is what grandparents are for! Who knows what adventures await us tomorrow!?

On another note. I find it hard just thinking of the reality of Samuel. I know Jeff has looked into some burial/funeral stuff. It is really difficult to think about. I really just have to take it one day at a time, otherwise it is too overwhelming. I almost feel like I am a ticking bomb-wondering if this is going to be his last kick. I know I have to stop thinking about it-it makes me go mad. Last night, I just lay in bed thinking about the ultrasound and hearing the devastating news. Replaying it over and over again. I have got to stop this. But when i do think this way, I am reminded that this is for God's glory. I think of the story of the blind man being healed. Followers of Jesus asked if this was because of a sin committed by his family. Jesus replied that indeed it was not, but for the glory of God. Let me not forget that. I also have not given up hope-hope for a miracle. God is big and he can give Samuel a brain. I know that even though he is capable, it doesn't mean that is his plan. And that is ok, but I think of a huge miracle happening. I wouldn't be angry at God if it didn't. Thank goodness He knows what He is doing. He did create the universe, I guess I can trust him with this little thing in comparison to that. This plan has to be good, because God is good. He doesn't want us to hurt. I know that. God doesn't like to see us in pain, to cry, to have our hearts broken.