Surgery Today.

This is Kristy. It has been awhile since I have been able to write, but tonight I am home and just trying to catch up.

Today Samuel had his trach inserted. The surgery went very smooth. It is a relatively easy surgery with little complication. The surgeon also did a thorough look into Samuel's oral/nasal anatomy. She said it was very interesting...nothing that she had seen before. There is a cleft in the hard palate and in the soft palate, as well as the tongue, and top and bottom lip. Also there may be a bony stucture in the nasal cavity-so there is no connection between the nasal passage and the throat. Jeff is a lot better at explaining these things, so if he has time he can update the blog. Otherwise, Samuel is stable.

Although Samuel is well, we still have a long unknown road ahead. So many things the doctors are unsure. Samuel is our miracle baby. I think he is a miracle baby to so many others as well-especially the doctors. I still vividly remember sitting with the perinatalogist and hearing him say the words, "no hope". Well, Samuel has proved him wrong. Technology is not always accurate. And our God is much bigger than any technology.

God has continued to amaze me through our circumstance. God has been seen in so many ways. God has been using this situation for his glory-already. I don't know what the future looks like, but I know God has shared this amazing little boy with us to glorify Him. And as I see God work, I also see Satan work-trying to get a foothold on something, anything. Please pray for us and that we remain strong. Jeff and I definitely need prayer for the decisions we make daily. A slight communication error between us and Satan starts attacking. Just pray that we can be aware and remain as one knit tightly together. That we are sensitive to each other's reactions. Emotions are high, we are sleep deprived-perfect weapons for the enemy. We also need prayer for our other little boy Dawson. I can't imagine how confused he is. I know he can only comprehend so much, but he sees our pain, our anger, our fear. Not to mention his world has been turned upside down. Family in and out, routine-not so much, and a new baby brother. Dawson has been a little trooper-we just need to figure out how to make his life as normal as we can, but still helping him to understand our new life ahead of us. Also, pray for Samuel's brain to grow. At this point we are very unsure of how much brain tissue he actually has...but we know it is not a lot. I pray that his brain will grow...I believe in miracles.

Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and support. Our God is a good God! I know when my family has all left we will definitely need you all more than ever. Thank you.

FYI: We are at Memorial Hospital. We are more than glad to have visitors and to show off our little boy. We can't have our phones on in the hospital, but if you stop by and go to NICU, they will contact us to come out. Jeff or myself are usually at the hospital. Also, I will try to post new pictures soon. We can finally see little Samuel's face-no tubes and tape on his face, and his head is so much smaller.

Trach Insertion Tomorrow

Samuel is doing very well! Kristy said he is such a trooper and is handling everything so well.

Tomorrow at noon they are inserting the trach tomorrow (another breathing instrument) so we are asking for prayers that this procedure goes smoothly.

Please keep praying! It's working!

Nice and Boring

Those were the doctor's words when he came out of surgery. Samuel did great and Kristy said you can already tell an improvement with the shape and feel of his head. Everyone is very happy and awaiting Samuel to return from recovery.

Enjoy the pictures! They are from before surgery.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
John 14:1

In surgery; but a GREAT day!

Right now, Samuel has about 15-20 minutes left of surgery. They are placing a shunt in his brain to drain the fluid. Pray this surgery is a success and that Jesus guides the doctor's hands on Samuel's delicate brain and that no problems arise during this operation.

Praise the Lord! The initial brain abnormalities that were described to Kristy and Jeff at the ultrasound are NOT what the doctors originally thought! God is so good and the brain scan showed TWO hemispheres instead of one. This is amazing news on many fronts but when Jeff asked the doctor if Samuel could walk one day, the doctor said he wouldn't rule it out! Samuel still has hydrocephalus (fluid on the brain) which is the reason for the shunt but this is the greatest news they could have received in this situation. The prayers are working and we need to keep praying!

Kristy and Jeff were both able to hold their son yesterday. Kristy said he has smiled, opened his eye, and has showed obvious signs that he recognizes Mom and Dad. All wonderful things!

Thank you, thank you, thank you prayer warriers for all your positive thoughts, comments, prayers, and hopes. Kristy named the blog "Seeing Hope in Hopeless" when doctors were giving them a poor prognosis and encouraging termination. Her maternal instinct kicked in and she has taken care of her baby to the best of her ability and given him a chance at life, and now the doctor is seeing hope in walking! Things are no longer hopeless and we need to pray fervently for more milestones and good news for this miracle baby.

Again, please pray the surgery is a success, and continue praying that God helps guide Kristy and Jeff as they make more decisions. Please pray that once the shunt is in place, Samuel's brain begins to grow and develop.

He has already shown his family that he is smart and beautiful :)

Update

I talked to Kristy this morning and there are a couple new developments. The doctors went ahead and intubated Samuel, which took care of two things: first, the problem with the improper disposal of 02 has been resolved, and second, he is breathing on his own (mostly) without the tongue depression. The tongue depression was effective but Kristy said every so often it would move out of place and the airway would be blocked. It sounded like it was very difficult to watch Samuel go through the intubation process but I think he is doing better in that respect now that it's in place.

The doctors were conducting an MRI on Samuel this morning, and so Kristy is praying that Jeff was able to hold him before his scan. Kristy said at one point when the doctors were working on him, Samuel tried to push them away!

She also said one of the nurses was changing his diaper and let them have a peek at his little heine. She said he has a cute little tiny butt! I could tell she was excited to see his precious tiny body.

Meanwhile, we are still asking for several prayers. Generally, we ask the Lord to guide Kristy and Jeff as they seek answers and make decisions regarding Samuel's care every day. This is such a scary, stressful and uncertain journey. We just pray that Kristy and Jeff feel peace and confidence with every decision they make.

Please pray that they are getting as much rest as they can during this difficult time, and that they are comfortable and have as few outside stressors as possible. Kristy mentioned the lack of room and privacy when trying to pump milk and take care of other needs. We also pray that Kristy and Jeff are given time to enjoy their baby and love their baby. I know she has not been able to hold him since birth so please pray that she can hold him again soon. Please pray for Dawson as he is too young to fully understand what his little brother is going through, as well as give Kristy and Jeff the right words to explain the situation the best they can to a two and a half year old.

Kristy's mom, dad, brother and sister-in law (Kevin and Katie) are all in Colorado with the Rowbotham's so please pray for them as well. I know the family being together is very comforting and helpful.

I asked Kristy if she needed anything and she said no, she is doing fine for now.


Please pray hard! God is good and I know He will take care of Kristy, Jeff, Dawson and Samuel in His way.

Still fighting, but still in distress...

Kristy just called with another update. The doctors at the hospital where Samuel is staying are currently conducting a brain scan to ascertain how severe the brain anomalies are at this time. The current plan is to insert a shunt and a trach into Samuel to help with his issues.

Samuel's body is also not disposing of O2 properly. Kristy is concerned that this could be fatal.

Everything is very uncertain. They do not know how long Samuel will survive.

Right now, they are just asking for prayer for the family. Please pray that they will continue to feel peace as they continue down this journey. Please pray that Jeff has strength and guidance as he is alone with Samuel at the other hospital. Please pray that Jeff and Kristy have guidance when it comes to making decisions about Samuel's care...at what point is the intervention too much?

Thank you so much for all the thoughts and prayers. I know Kristy and Jeff are aware of all the people praying for them, and can feel the love that surrounds them from all over the country.

More updates to come!

Everyone is okay! (But Samuel still has fatal concerns)

Samuel Arthur Rowbotham was born into this world weighing 6 pounds, 6 ounces and 18.5 inches long! Kristy said he is a fighter. He came out and was trying so hard to cry and Kristy said he muffled some little squeaks. She got to hold her precious baby boy.

Samuel is being transported to the other hospital, but Kristy is staying at the new hospital. Samuel has a few concerns, some they knew about, and some they did not. He only has one eye and one ear, his head is very large (the same size as his body), the cleft lip and palate, his tongue is being depressed so that he can breathe, and more.

But right now he is BREATHING on his own!

As soon as I heard Kristy's voice, before I knew whether or not she'd delivered or if the baby survived, a certain feeling of calmness was evident in her voice. She sounded the best she has sounded since July 11, 2008. As she recounted the details of her son's birth, I could hear the tenderness and love she felt for her baby as well as the peace she felt with the unknown fate. She said she is feeling peaceful and Jeff is feeling peaceful and if Jesus wants to bring Samuel home, they are both okay with that.

We are just asking for more prayer. Praying that Kristy will have a speedy and healthy recovery from her surgery, that Jeff, Kristy, Regina, Tom and the rest of their family will continue to feel comfort and peace, and that Samuel is comfortable and Jesus wraps his arms around this child and takes care of him while he is with us on Earth and if he chooses to bring him home with Him.

Kristy is sad that Samuel had to go to a different hospital but happy that Dawson can come and visit her, as she misses him very much already.

Kristy, you are an amazing, amazing mommy. Dawson and Samuel are very blessed that God picked you to be their mommy. I love you, friend.

C-Section

Please keep praying! Baby Samuel is in distress and labor is not progressing as they would like. The baby's head has not dropped enough. The doctors have decided its in Kristy and Baby's best interest to perform a C-Section. I wish I could be there with my best friend...but I know she is being taken care of. Prayers, prayers, prayers!

It's Time

This is Melissa, writing for my dear friends Kristy and Jeff. Kristy was checked at the hospital and it was confirmed that she is in labor. She is 4cm dilated and having consistent contractions. Please pray for Kristy, Jeff, Dawson, and Baby Samuel.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Off to the hospital...again

So...quickly. I have been having bad contractions all day, so we are off to the hospital to get checked. Please pray hard!!!

Closer

So, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, nothing changed except I am off the Procardia now (which stopped contractions). Oh, and now I am measuring 41 weeks and I am 36 weeks. So, really I feel miserable. I am having such difficulty moving around. I really pray that I will have Samuel early. I am not sure how much longer I can take this anticipation and unknowns. But I am still resting assured that God is in control and that HE HAS TO HAVE A PLAN THAT IS MORE THAN I CAN UNDERSTAND.

Please pray for a smooth delivery. I would really like to try to go natural. Pray that my body withstands this and that I physically survive. Also, pray for the decisions Jeff and I have to make for Samuel. We feel so overwhelmed by the decisions that we can't make at this point. We want to have an idea of what we want to do for Samuel, but we aren't even sure. We need clarity. We also need prayer for guidance in handling the situation with Dawson. We don't know how to deal with it-he is 2.5... We just need some hard core prayer right now. We both are feeling so overwhelmed. I personally am having daily meltdowns. This is so much to handle, to understand...

I was reminded of these verses last night, let us not forget.

Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God!!! (I added the emphasis)
Phillipians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Late Update from Thursday Dr. Appt

Thursday Appt: Well, of course, not much news. I am effaced 80% and still dilated about the same between 1.5 and 2. My stomach is now measuring 4 weeks larger!!! So, my body looks and feels like I should have a baby soon, but...we don't know that. The Doctor said that she is pretty confident I will not go to my due date, but when I will go is still up in the air. I have been having a lot of back pain lately-which I think can be indicative of preterm labor. I think I will go sooner, but that is just what I am feeling. Maybe it is because I feel like a beached whale. But, not much else from the appointment-just wait and see. I am to continue taking the Procardia for contractions, but will stop on Thursday. If labor does start, we will probably just let it take course.
Other News: So, again, it has been so nice to have my mom in town. I have been trying to relax best I can, but I still want to get up and do things. We did go to the pumpkin patch yesterday, which was really fun for Dawson. The place had a straw slide, a ghetto straw maze, goats, and of course a "pumkin patch". I put it in parenthesis because they literally had boxes of pumpkins to pick from or pumpkins just chilling in the grass to pick. Oh well. The adults were definitely more disappointed than Dawson, so it doesn't matter-he had fun.
On another note. For the past week I have been looking for an outfit for Samuel. I just really wanted to buy something for him-because whether or not he comes home or not, he needs at least one baby outfit. Well, Dawson was looking at baby clothes with me and saw a picture of a baby. Dawson said, "that baby is going to die" and "that baby is in trouble". I think my heart ripped right out of my chest at that moment. I know that he doesn't fully understand, but he definitely hears what we are saying. I just don't know how to handle talking to a toddler about this stuff, but I guess we will cross that bridge when it comes... Anyway, despite the difficulties in looking for an outfit (not knowing if it will be for Samuel to come home in or be buried in), I ended up getting a really adorable warm, cozy sleeper and a little baby hat to go with it. Then Dawson picked out a cute penquin for Samuel. I am glad that we did that. It was hard, but felt good to buy something for my baby boy-who is very real.
We are hanging in there. We all have been a bit on edge, but it has helped a lot that my mom is here-it relieves some of the everyday stressors like Dawson, cleaning house, laundry, dinner, etc. We just keep praying that God will make these big decisions that are coming our way, or at least he will give us absolutely clarity in what he wants us to do. We are not able to handle decisions this big. I am glad that God is our warrior and fights for us and gives us directions, because we are clueless.

A Heavy Heart

First I have to say that I am so glad that my mom is here. I can't tell you what a relief it is to have her here. Not to mention that Dawson totally adores her. He wants mamaw to do everything-"mamaw buckle me in", "mamaw get me milk"..... and on and on. He will actually cry if Jeff or I do something for him. I can't say that I am complaining about that. He even wants mamaw to change his diaper-oh, what a bummer! It was been to nice to be able to relax, but I think my mom pushes me relaxing a little too much. For example,we went to Walmart on Monday and she made me drive one of those motorized carts. That was so embarrassing. She told me I had two options: drive the motorized cart or sit the in the car. Grrr. But all and all, it is good that I am able to rest.
Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. I am actually looking forward to going. Just to see if things have changed or what we are going to do now. It has been a week since our triage visit and it will be the first time I have talked with my doctor since then. I kind of hope that she says that Samuel will come soon. I feel better now that I have the steroid shot and am kind of ready to just deal with whatever is going to come. I think the anticipation is just driving me mad. I am constantly wondering...is it today, tomorrow, next week, 5 weeks???? I feel like this lost puppy dog...just not knowing what to do. Today when we were at the store, I was wondering, should I buy Samuel an outfit? Should I do this? Should I do that? So many overwhelming questions. I want to be prepared, but to what degree, I am not even sure. So, I just got consumed with so many unknown questions that I just cried while I walked around the store pondering them. I am sure people just thought I was hormonal....which I am, but is not the reason why I was crying. Blah...too much.

We have the internet back!

OK. Everyone we have the internet back and running. So, it will be easier to update everyone with what is going on. But, basically, not much else has changed. I got my second steroid shot on Thursday night at 11:30pm (that was fun). My headaches are better. I figured out to take the procardia with 2 tylenol. It is crazy-preventative maintenance. I have still been having contractions, but they are tolerable and not very frequent. My back is kind of aching...not fun. My mom is coming on Sunday night-so that will be such a relief and so helpful!! I feel bad for Dawson. I have been making him lay in bed with me and watch movie, after movie. I think he is going to go crazy! But my mom is coming!!! So all will be well! I will let you know if things change. Keep praying. Stay put Samuel!!! Just a little longer.

Triage Visit Last Night

I am going to make this short. Our internet is not working, so I am at my neighbor's house, but just wanted to do a quick update.

Last night, I had some brown spotting and other yucky things ( I will share you all the details). But I was concerned and called the nurse hotline. She told me to go to the birthing center triage and get checked out. So, of course, we went. Again, to make this short... we went to hospital, got monitored and checked. They also did this Fetal...blah blah test. The Fetal... test can show if I am at an increased risk for delivering in the next 2 weeks.
Conclusions: The test came back positive (this doesn't mean that I will delivery in next 2 weeks, but would not be surprising...there can be a false positive). I am dilated almost 2 cm. I was having contractions, although not consistent enough to stay in hospital. And finally I lost mucus plug.
What they did: Gave me some medicine (can't remember the name), but it is to stop contractions. Only problem is that is gives me terrible headaches. But contractions have become less. They gave me a steroid shot to help Samuel's lungs develop. I get another shot tonight. I have to go to hospital tonight late because it needs to be within 24 hours of the previous one. Lucky me.
I will let you know as things happen. Just wanted to give a quick update. It is hard because our internet is not working...go figure.

A Hard Day

Psalm 25:4-5

Show me your ways, O LORD,

teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,

for you are God my Savior,

and my hope is in you all day long.

Today was a hard day. Church was a really difficult place to be. Sometimes, it is not even the message, but just being there that makes us vulnerable to our emotions (which is ok, just hard). I could tell that Jeff was having a particularly emotional time during worship, which made it challenging for me as well. It is very rare to see Jeff that way and it makes my heart break. Not only that, but a few rows in front of us was a mother with a newborn baby. She was just stroking his little fuzz on his head and cuddling him so sweetly. My heart was aching. I was happy for her, but sad not knowing if I will be able to experience that with Samuel. I guess regardless I will be able to stroke his little head, feel his sweet little body-just maybe not the way in which I hoped. Letting go of these expectations is a very hard challenge. My heart just feels very sad lately and scared. I can only cry out to God right now. The pain is just overwhelming these days. I can only imagine how much harder this is going to get.

A Tiny Bit of Relief

So, I had another doctor appointment today. Surprise, surprise!!! I feel like I am starting to live there or at least make it one of my favorite activities of the week. I feel bad for Dawson. He really is a champ. Gotta give it up for him for being in a doctor's office for over an hour (because they are always running behind).

Anyways...at the visit with my regular OB, I was somewhat relieved to hear what she said. She said that, although my amniotic fluid level is high, it is not a huge concern (at least not at this point). She said that yes it does increase of risk, but only slighty. The bigger concern is the size of Samuel's head. It is likely that his head will continue to grow. She said that she will talk with perinatologist and discuss at what point a c-section is mandatory. The OB said that regardless of which method I deliver it will be difficult. If natural...obviously hard. If C-section, more of challenge to get him out. Hopefully he stays head down. If he moves to a breech position, it could be interesting. Also, my blood pressure was elevated. She didn't seemed concerned about that...in all honesty it was probably because I had to sit in the waiting room for a year and a half. I will monitor that at home. Not much else really. Just "wait and see". By my next ultrasound I think we will know more of what to expect. My next ultrasound isn't until the 28th of October! Just pray Samuel stays in there and I stay healthy (both physically and mentally).

I have too admit with each week and almost day really, my faith is challenged. I have been having a lot of "bad" days lately. I seem to get more annoyed with EVERYTHING and my family suffers from this. I feel horrible for Jeff and Dawson. I probably feel worse for Dawson because he doesn't understand. I just have been on edge lately, irritated by little things. Dawson seems to push my buttons daily. If only he would do everything I asked-immediately. That is just how I am responding to him and Jeff. It seems like I am in a constant state of stress. I was doing so well. Now I just feel like I am slipping. Our family needs prayer. Jeff is such a great guy to put up with me. We definitely handle stress differently. I am what you might call "high strung". Jeff on the other hand is more laid back. I have also been avoiding people lately. So, sorry if you are one of my friends and I have been not calling you back or emailing you back or just avoiding you. It isn't because I don't need you-I just am having a hard time. Please forgive me for being a bad friend and know that I still care about our friendship.

May God be with our family during this time and the time that will follow. As always, thanks for the prayers and overwhelming support (in so many ways).